Firstly, none of that was our fault.
You didnt ask for him to rape you.
And although it is painful getting rid of a child, deep down you know that you did the right thing. Imagine if you hadnt. And that child grew up an found out the truth. Can you imagine how hard that would be. So you did do the right thing. Sometimes the right thing causes more pain than anything else though. Please try to forgve yourself for what happened, then perhaps you will be able to move on and the pain will lessen a little bit. Give yourself time.
Perhaps this year you could write a letter to the baby you lost. Explain why you did what you did. Light a candle on New Years eve for the baby and burn the letter.
I hope you can find some clousure from this.
Take care
Kim
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