Christie...I know you're not dead, and I hope you won't be for millions of years, but...
I missed you today Christie. Why do you have to be away at christmas? This is the second year in a row you haven't been here...I miss you. I know you're at uni and everything...but with you there, and Angelique away too, I'm on my own. Today I sat on your bed, in the dark because a fuse blew or something. There was no food in your house, and your dogs kept barking at me. You used to get the dogs away from me...but you weren't there. Our parents are still going down to the pub every christmas. They still leave me at home alone. I miss it when I was little, and you would make me 'christmas dinner' which consisted of toast, beans and pasta...they were the only things you knew how to make. Even when you were old enough to go to the pub for lunch with all the adults, you still stayed with me. Thanks so much for that. You were the closest thing I had to an older sister growing up, and I was the closest thing you had to a little sister. I miss you. I haven't seen you in 2 years... I wish you were here. The past two christmasses I've spent on my own, while my mum and dad and your mum and dad, and all the others were down the pub getting drunk. When they all came back smashed we would hide in your room, under the duvet, and you would cuddle me when I cried and tell me everything would be better. You were the one person I really truely cared for and trusted. You told me about my first christmas, I was only 2 months old, and you were only 6, and you still had to look after me while our parents were out getting pissed. The same thing has happened every christmas since. I remember our last christmas together...our parents were out all day...I was 13, you were 18, and we were both really angry and upset, so we got out bottles of vodka, I got out my pills and we got dangerously out of it. Then our parents came back at like midnight, and we pretended we were fine. And the christmas when I was 5 and you were 11..I still remember that vividly. It was horrible...you were old enough to understand what HE was doing to us, but I wasn't. After he had finished we sat on your bed, crying for hours. You tried to protect me Christie, you always have. I just wish you knew what was going on now. But you can't protect me from myself. Please come home soon, I miss you.
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