hey, thought I'd update y'all on this.
so they're still happening, and have now changed a bit. they stopped for about two weeks, which was nice but didn't last. I was able to talk to my mom about it and she recommended cbd (well actually she told me to smoke some weed but I stopped smoking weed a long ass time ago), which helped until it didn't.
now though they aren't all what ifs, it's started reliving some trauma now too. At first, it was everything with me and my bio-dad, and how all of that went down. a few nights ago it was reliving my SA from freshman year, and last night it was relieving the first time my ex hit me. both times I woke up with my hands bleeding again, but last night I woke up with blood in my mouth, i guess I bit my lip or something???
I talked with my neurologist about it, and she said I should be put on a sleep med, and to ask my psych med provider to put me on a sleep med. She thinks maybe it's because I'm going to bed too late, so I'm already anxious by the time I start to sleep. idk if that's the case but I'm hoping that once I get sleep meds it'll finally stop.
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