I agree with Lindsay, guilt can be such a hard emotion to work through but I think you still deserve to look after yourself and be treated with kindness and respect. I also think forgiving yourself might be helpful for you, but I realise this is really difficult to do.
Are they offering you any type of therapy/rehabilitation atm? It sounds like you could do with talking things over with an impartial outsider who would be able to help you with these feelings.
I hope you manage to have a nice time woth your husband, and that you got your hug :)
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