Thanks for the replies.
So, as for what's going on.
I'm in hospital right now for a med change.
Will have to go back to prison soon.
I think the med change has been quite difficult to deal with.
The withdrawal from the last med was bad, I had all these horrible thoughts & urges & physical symptoms.
The hospital staff said it's too soon to tell if the new medication is working.
I do feel so guilty for what happened & yeah they said I was ill when it happened, but I didn't feel like that was the case.
Probably in denial, but now I realize that it was true.
I'm trying to channel all these urges into positive actions but it's really, really hard.
I must be a bad person to still want to do these things?
I feel hopeless about the situation at times.
I'm not getting released on my release date.
Which I expected, but it still hurts so damn much.
I've been trying so hard to get better & now it all feels like it's not worth it.
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