That does seem really hard to get your head around. Especially since you feel you've been more unwell in the past and no help has been offered. How do the non professional people around you perceive that you are doing? Maybe things could be better than they are if you accept the help. Sometimes it's difficult to see what's going on with yourself but of course other people can be wrong too. Sorry I've probably not been really helpful. Keep posting here if you find the words you want to say.
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