[FlyingPeanuts]

Hey folks. Sorry I make threads and then forget about them.

I got referred somewhere back in December but then had to switch GP surgeries and assumed the referral never happened. I met with the Mental Health person in my new area and she told me it most certainly had been put through.

She also said she was glad for that because it was clear I needed that help and likely more, and started talked about complex trauma and OCD as if they were diagnoses I already have, which I do not, and it caused me to feel uncomfortable later on. Even now, a day later, just thinking about it fills me dread. I do not seem ill. I do not seem that ill. I seem fine. I am fine. And yet every professional I speak to carries on and on about dissociation and masking, and I am genuinely just uncomfortable because I don’t feel I should be referred to these places because surely I’m just wasting resources by attention seeking and being generally obnoxious.

I’ve been visibly worse than this in the past and no one has helped me, and now I seem stable everyone’s like “you’re wrong”, and I’m beyond frustrated. I don’t even know where I’m going with this anymore because I have so many thoughts and not enough fingers to type them all before I forget them. I’m just so frustrated with the whole situation.