that's totally okay! just wasn't sure what you were looking for so didn't want to offer anything unsolicited.
know we've suggested this to others but are you familiar with the idea of harm reduction as it applies to eds? if changing or stopping behaviors is too much or impossible, there are definitely steps you can take to try to minimise the harm to a degree. would anything like that be stuff you would be open to? or would it be worth trying to explore what role your ed is serving for you to see if there are other options that could do similar?
know this sort of comes across as suggestions or advice so of course ignore if it feels too impossible or scary to consider.
it makes sense that your ed is helping at the moment, so also makes sense why you wouldn't want to change it. that said, if there are ways to do things different in order to get the similar benefits or to be a bit safer, would that be worth considering or something you would be open to? again it's okay if not. just would be curious if there is any wiggle room at all in there to make it seem less black and white in terms of ed or nothing.
its late here so many apologies if this doesn't make sense, and please ask if you need clarification
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