Thanks for the reply.
Guess I’m just frustrated and disappointed at the lack of progress I’ve made to have circled back here again. It’s obviously a dark chapter of my past that I didn’t want to open up again, especially as I don’t feel like that person anymore, but maybe I’m just kidding myself.
I have managed to access counselling and I’m trying talking with a professional for the first time ever, but depressive/negative thoughts and thinking patterns are proving a bit difficult to break. Talking isn’t easy, understanding how I’m feeling and explaining it is hard for me, but at least I’m glad I’m at least trying it. Not ready to give up yet.
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