[CaptainB2]

Ironically, I was hoping to revisit old posts to motivate myself, and feel better about myself. I was hoping to read the post and think “WOW! Look how far I’ve come along!”
Unfortunately, it had the exact opposite effect as it showed the exact opposite to be true.

I guess in all fairness, I shouldn’t say that nothing has changed. I live in a different location than I did back then. Back then I had been single for eight consecutive years, and was desperate for a relationship. Now I just have a plethora failed relationships behind me. Either way, I’m still just as lonely! At the time of those particular posts, I was unemployed. Now I’ve gotten a whole bunch of failed jobs behind me. Fortunately, I am currently employed. 12 Years ago was the year I finally finished college after six years. So I guess there is that. I guess what really is true it’s not so much that nothing has changed so much as I always end up exactly right back where I started with nothing more to show for it! I guess you could call it a case of the more things do change the more they actually stay the same.

I honestly don’t know what’s been standing in my way or what’s preventing me. If I knew I would change it. Reading those old posts and seeing how I honestly could’ve written them yesterday just further cements my belief that I truly don’t belong in this world. I should’ve just died back then save everybody a lot of time!