I'm sorry, but it feels like there are some holes in this story. If there is no communication between yourself and your daughter how do you know how your grandaughter is doing?
I appreciate that you feel like you supported your daughter over the years, but I get where she is coming from. Yes you did support, but only financially. It sounds like she received no other type of support from you, either in terms of emotional support while she was dealing with what was happening in her life or any communication from you over those years. So, yes, in your daughters eyes, your sister did raise her, not you. you were not physically in her life.
It also comes across that there has been some, if unintentional favouritism from you over the years towards your son. Your son got the education because the daughter was never there, but also she supported her brother?? That doesn't make sense. She was either there or she wasn't. Did you ever communicate your decisions to her?
Also, while i appreciate that you want a relationship with your grandaughter, it isn't your choice. Yes you are a grandparent, but that does not give you the right to a relationship with her.
You have to respect that your daughter has chosen to go no contact with you. The more you push, the more you will drive her away.
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