Parents and their choices absolutely can and do influence their children's mental health and lives well into adulthood. And choosing to cut off family members is totally allowed and valid.
And to claim that your grandchild "deserves to have a grandmother" is a pretty bold claim. Your daughter is allowed to choose whether or not she wants you or other family in her life. It's up to her to make those choices for herself and her own children.
Sounds like she has made her own hard choices, just like you had to make your own, and it's going to be on you to learn to accept them and cope.
Sorry it's been so difficult for you, and I'm not trying to sound unempathetic to your own situation. But your daughter is an adult. As are you. We don't have to like the choices other people make. How can you learn to accept them and move forward in your own life?
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