I know, opening up is something I have to work on. I don't like opening up to people which is why I find it easier ranting to strangers. I don't want people to see me how I see myself, I guess.
I haven't been the greatest recently. I have urges, but I'm too tired to do anything. I think I'm dipping again because of stress that school is starting again. I cut again, and I'm 2 days clean now. Doesn't feel like much. I'm not sure what I'm trying to accomplish by now. I feel so hopeless that I feel nothing. I just want to lie in bed and do nothing. I don't feel alive, really.
I think I need therapy at this point and I'm assuming it'll make things better. But I'm also worried that I'll start to hallucinate again as things are brought back up. I used to see things, smell things, and hear things. It's gotten better, but I'm worried about it coming back again.
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