Possible trigger warning: SA
I don't know if I have the self control to wait that long, but I could try different things out. I feel like I'd have to build up to an hour. I have a drawer with all my things in there and I put special things there to try and make myself think of someone close to me, but I just go mindless. A lot of the time I don't realize I've cut until after the fact.
I don't really know how to answer that. My self worth is so degraded and destroyed at this point that I don't think I deserve to even die because being in pain and seeing other people suffer would be more of a punishment. I had to deal with SA for 5 years of my life, so I can't even think of myself as a human, but more along the lines of a disgust or monster for letting it happen. But I guess to loosely answer that:
The thought: I deserve to be in pain
The lie: seemingly worthless
New thought: no one deserves it (pain), including me
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