Is a PM ok for the grounding techniques or would you prefer me list them out here? I have a pdf I can copy them from so it's pretty easy to do.
As for the therapist expecting you to hold onto stuff have you considering writing down what you want to talk about / what is haunting you? Might help you get it out if your head and also if speech isn't working but the primary you is still there you could hand them to your therapist.
Have you discussed grounding in sessions with your therapist? End of last year I finished the best therapy I have ever had. It was the best partly because it was regular sessions for a year and half, but I think what made it so good and allowed me to make progress was that we worked within my distress tolerance. If I or my psychologist noticed signs of me dissociating/ getting acutely distressed we would pause for a moment and either distract or ground me depending on how far gone I was. With time I noticed the signs I was starting to dissociate earlier and I find the earlier the notice the easier it is to pull myself back. Of course it doesn't always work but in general it meant therapy left me less of a wreck and over time I could go deeper into things. I understand if that isn't your therapists style but you could also try incorporating some time into the end of the session to help you reorientate.
I understand the way your mind draws you back to the memories I have some that haunt me. Have you ever tried mindfulness? I know it doesn't work for everyone but I found it helps teach you how to accept a memory is there but get less trapped in it. Hard to explain but acknowledging it's presence and moving conciously away seems to work better than fighting it for me.
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