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one_step_closer · 05-05-2023, 04:59 PM

Thanks both.

I'm feeling really confused and doubting myself and my feelings. I like the gym group and I do have a laugh with everyone which I always have, it's ok to be in the gym and interacting with the people I know so I'm not as distressed at that point. My support worker thinks if I was really struggling I would be more withdrawn at the group.

I tried to say I'm struggling. She just thinks it's not so bad and I can fight through it to do things like walking down to Tesco which is a 25 minute walk from my house and then the same back, and do it even if I need no shopping. I'm only going out when I really need to because of my difficulties outside.

I tried to phone Duty but someone answered who I had a bad experience with before so I hung up. I wish there were more people I felt able to talk to since I have to work through my phone anxiety to make the call. Maybe all I'd have to say is what I already told my psychiatrist at my last appointment so I shouldn't phone. My support worker might phone someone at the CMHT at some point to say I'm doing well.

I feel like a fraud and a fake.

05-05-2023, 04:59 PM	#3346
one_step_closer The Shadow of the Day Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Scotland	Thanks both. I'm feeling really confused and doubting myself and my feelings. I like the gym group and I do have a laugh with everyone which I always have, it's ok to be in the gym and interacting with the people I know so I'm not as distressed at that point. My support worker thinks if I was really struggling I would be more withdrawn at the group. I tried to say I'm struggling. She just thinks it's not so bad and I can fight through it to do things like walking down to Tesco which is a 25 minute walk from my house and then the same back, and do it even if I need no shopping. I'm only going out when I really need to because of my difficulties outside. I tried to phone Duty but someone answered who I had a bad experience with before so I hung up. I wish there were more people I felt able to talk to since I have to work through my phone anxiety to make the call. Maybe all I'd have to say is what I already told my psychiatrist at my last appointment so I shouldn't phone. My support worker might phone someone at the CMHT at some point to say I'm doing well. I feel like a fraud and a fake.
	I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much. Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass. You didn't come this far just to come this far.