Pain has been driving me mad last few days.
Had to take the strong painkillers twice in one day yesterday which is rare. Haven't taken anything except over the counter stuff so far today but they aren't doing much.
Getting thoughts about hurting myself to distract from the pain or trying to find a way to knock myself out or something. Doubt I will act on them, I rarely do if I let logic in, but the fact they are there and tempting and loud is hard. And the fact sometimes Dissociative me does stuff without thinking it through is scary but also kind of gives me a well I didn't do it on purpose get of jail free card.
This is all very confusing. I just want the pain to stop so I can think clear.
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