I'm sorry i don't really know what to tell you to do, but my advice would be to try and take your mind off it. I know it's easier said than done, but it's really worth trying. I draw on my skin in red felt tips when i'm triggered, or write in my journal or watch something fun. I hope i'm not too late writing this. Try and stay safe and beat these urges.
*Sending hugs*
Laura xxx
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