Thanks everyone. I was and I still am proud of myself. I had a slip up, and then I got very drunk last night. I think I was just exhausted from fighting. But in saying this these slip ups are quite minor compared to in the past. And the next day I didn’t continue, or escalate. It was hard today to make the choice to come to my family’s home because here I cant be self destructive. But I did it. And again I felt those growing pains.
It is so hard for me to try and get my needs met. To not feel alone. When everyone cares but is busy with their own lives and families and jobs. It can be exhausting supporting someone with a mental illness so I’m careful how much I unload. I suppose that’s why this place is good. Sometimes I just need to say the truth which is this is REALLY hard. On top of it, I’m working hard, but honestly I’m having trouble imagining a better life, liking myself more, recovering again. I say again because I’ve done it before. I hope the hard work pays off and things just fall into place.
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