Friendlessness is my only friend
Together with you til the end
I don't need you, nor myself
And I don't need any help
Lest my forgotten heart rend
Lest I forget how to mend
Lest I fall from this tower
Lest I fall on this hour
One day I might save myself
One day I might ask for help
Until I fall to my death
Until I take my last breath
And death might lead me astray
And death might take me away
Away I am, forever
Away I fall, a feather
Back and forth and back again
Waiting for my life to end
I smile at my circumstance
I'm smiling at my last dance
The devil smiles back at me
Whispering "I'll set you free"
I whisper back a prayer
I'm wishing for a saviour
Nothing saves me again but
Suicidal ideation
Cigarette enters my mouth
As my razor drags down south
I'm opening up to you
Skin separates out in two
Blood flows down my arm: my friend
Repeating this cycle again
Over and over I go
Hoping my will will not slow
Hoping I can cry today
Hoping I can die this day
But I get neither again
Oh devil, my only friend
I just wish for my freedom
I pray it's free and not dumb
But my life goes on this time
It's ticking, a clock so fine
Tick tock tick tock tick
Each tick is making me sick
Endlessness it endlessly
Ticks down til the end of me
If anyone's listening just set me free
I need to f***ing die
I need to f***ing die
I need to f***ing die
And I'm wondering why
Is it because I'm alone
Is it because I'm on my own
I'm feeling this way again
Just give me my happy end
Just give them something to grieve
Just give me somewhere to leave
Please end me, this hopelessness
Please befriend me, I'm friendless
Just maybe I can save me
Just maybe I can be me
Just maybe I won't see my end
Just maybe I can have a friend
Who am I kidding, I guess
As I said, I am friendless
I might love the razorblade
Yet this love will only fade
Like the rest, it all falls short
My heart's cold, feelings abort
Away unto empty space
Away to my empty place
I guess I'm praying again
Please don't take me to my end
And maybe I can be my friend.
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just drunk word vomit i wrote last night that barely passes as poetry
it's interesting to see how i think, though