I hope that writing this post helped a bit, it's good to get your feelings out. It sounds wise that your blades are hidden- I'm guessing it's a delaying tactic you've put in place to help give you more time to think before acting?
I don't personally believe that it doesn't count if it doesn't need stitches/staples. Anything you do to injure yourself is damaging to your body and is a sign that things are really difficult for you.
Do you have go-to distractions that help you?
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