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pea soup · 19-12-2007, 02:51 PM

and im sorry.
i cant bear it anymore.
i hate being awake...knowing im alive.
i feel dead already.
i feel like a zombie.
nightmares are bad.
but i still miss my father. how sick is that?
i cant stop thinking of Keith.
and watching Kelly's children has finally taken its toll.
especially little Kaleb.
thoughts of taking my life are constantly spinning in my head.
and i know if i try it...it will be completely impulsive.
i'll just DO IT.
that scares me.
i dont think this will ever go away.
people say "it will get better". why dont i believe that?
maybe because it never has.
it lessens from time to time....but never better.
pointless post.
i could have just said...."i want to die".

19-12-2007, 02:51 PM	#1
pea soup Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: at the end of the rainbow I am currently:	i know im selfish and im sorry. i cant bear it anymore. i hate being awake...knowing im alive. i feel dead already. i feel like a zombie. nightmares are bad. but i still miss my father. how sick is that? i cant stop thinking of Keith. and watching Kelly's children has finally taken its toll. especially little Kaleb. thoughts of taking my life are constantly spinning in my head. and i know if i try it...it will be completely impulsive. i'll just DO IT. that scares me. i dont think this will ever go away. people say "it will get better". why dont i believe that? maybe because it never has. it lessens from time to time....but never better. pointless post. i could have just said...."i want to die".