This certainly sounds like an abusive relationship, but I know it's not as simple as 'just leaving' at the best of times, let alone during this pandemic.
Don't believe the things he says about you. Like pi.R^2 said, you are strong and have achieved so much. He'll likely want you to believe you're weak and useless because then you will be easier to control. You're clearly a strong person, don't forget that.
I know what it can be like when the good times are great but the bad times are awful. You cling to those good times; but this post shows you're starting to pay more attention to the bad times, and that's no bad thing. Right now you don't feel you can leave him, and that's ok. There will always be somewhere for you to go if it did ever get to the point where you did want to leave, even if it means going to a shelter or to your local council (if you're in the UK) who can help to house you, and the CAB can help with the practical legal issues.
If you need to have time to yourself after an argument, could you just leave for a walk, or make up an errand to run so you can get out of the house?
If you can, try to keep in contact with your friends through messages and phone calls as much as possible. I don't know if you've told any of them about the situation with your husband, but if you do feel able to, they can be an invaluable source of support for you.
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