I've been absent here for a stupid amount of time!
Today:
- taking about a million JPEGs with my friend A (formerly known as my ex work wife formerly known as my work wife)
- Chinese Buffet with A
- braved wearing something that I felt fliddy over for aforementioned JPEGs
General Stuff:
- I have the greatest and most supporting friends on this planet
- dared to ask people for help/favors and they were super willing to help out
- people asking what they can do for me without being prompted, SO many people figuratively holding my hand through this anxiety
- called Student Finance England and didn't die, took me about a month to work up to that
- made an appointment at town hall to officially un-register from living in Germany
- coworker AK being super sweet and lovely, encouraging me about moving to England and helping me to calm my nerves
- AK going easy on me and reducing my workload when I had to work on three hours of sleep
- people getting excited for me
- family members being super willing to give me lifts and stuff to the last family events I can attend (legal where I live!)
- just ... everything, realizing how lucky I am to have so many people having my back and offering support, getting excited for me and with me
- y'all probably don't know just how many people are rooting for you even when it's rarely said out loud, it's so overwhelming
Special Shout-Outs:
- Jenna, who carried me through this year with all the listening and supporting and advising and caring and sending calming vibes and always being super eager to do anything she can for me. Consider this my Public Statement of Love <3
- Jodie, for being sweet and kind and excited for me, for being able to just pick things up where we left it, for listening to me and offering all the help she can provide. I missed you and I'll see you soon <3
- LeClaire, who doesn't even go here anymore. For all the video chats and conversations that carried me through the lockdown. I would've lost my mind without her. For getting excited with me, for supporting me and always, always being my friend through everything. So. Much. Love. <3
- Lillie. For offering exactly what I needed on my thread without me having to say anything or ask. And for everything that she's ever done for me. I love you & I care. Always. <3
- LB (soon to be BB). She's not reading this ****, but I want everyone to know that she is just about the most amazing person on this planet. I could write a five-page essay about this one. (And I probably will so I can give it to her when I leave.) Very few people have made me feel so loved and supported and appreciated. Unconditionally. I would literally be dating her if I wasn't leaving the country in a few weeks. Potentially the only person who makes my heart break at the thought of leaving her behind. I love her.
- My mum. Too much to put it all down if I were to type this for the rest of my life. For believing in me, potentially the only person who has always, always had my back (partially because she's known me the longest). She knows me better than I tend to realize, she still has hope for me and a fierce believe that I will be happy.
Someone asked her if she won't be sad that her child will be so far away from her. Her response?
"It is a lot more important for me to know that my child is happy than to have her close by. And I know she will be happy there"
Sorry for rambling.
I am just too grateful to not share.
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