so im sitting here replying to threads the best i can and he calls. my brother isnt here. my father acts as if i dont exist but after what aaron said yesterday and then hearing my dads voice i freaked out. i had a terrible flashback. and now ive tried to break my arm only to leave it swollen and bruised, ive busted my lip and knocked 2 teeth loose, and ive busted my eardrum or at least i think i have. its in extreme pain and has crap oozing from it.
yeah...i guess you could say i completely freaked out. i was here alone so no one to scream to or anything and i didnt want to scare my dog either.
so now ive got some injuries that are going to need explaining as my mouth, ear, and arm are killing me. i cant go to the hospital because they will know i did it on purpose and commit me again. if the hospital did any good for me, i would go. but we sit there and watch tv all day and are doled out meds. thats it.
ive called my therapist and told him of what ive done and we may have a phone session later today. im so upset but a bit relieved also. the whole ordeal exhausted me.
and i thought i was getting better???? wtf?? all it took was hearing his voice!!!!
