Ultimately I don’t want to appear weak because then it shows how I actually feel that I can’t cope. I just feeling that everything is hard. I wake up so tearful, I go to sleep tearful. I just think things are getting harder.
I literally don’t have anyone anymore. The only friend I had doesn’t want to know me anymore. She was amazing but then she started to threaten suicide to me and then she didn’t want to talk about anything other than feeling crap and shot. There’s more to friendship then how you are ultimately feeling. And I couldn’t deal with the constant ness of her. I just felt I was carer.
I do feel alone and I actually hate feeling like this. People say I’m depressed but am I depressed if I don’t feel suicidal that I’m going to kill myself? I just fed so down and hopeless and just think it would be better without me.
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