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finding-my-haven · 19-01-2019, 05:43 AM

Tomorrow will mark 4 years of being SH free. I feel like I should be recovered right now, but it's still hard. I still want to cut myself every single day. It's overwhelming. I miss cutting. I miss the relief. I know that if I started again that I could get away with it without anyone finding out. But then I remember my rock bottom where I freaking cut myself in class without getting caught, and I'm scared that I would return to that point because that was bad. But I'm also scared of not cutting ever again, even though I know that's really stupid. I didn't think this would be so hard after so long. I want to cut so badly and the thought of going through the rest of my life without cutting is scary, but I also don't want to have to start over on Day 0. Everything just feels impossible.

19-01-2019, 05:43 AM	#1
finding-my-haven Join Date: Oct 2014 I am currently:	I don't feel like I'm recovered Tomorrow will mark 4 years of being SH free. I feel like I should be recovered right now, but it's still hard. I still want to cut myself every single day. It's overwhelming. I miss cutting. I miss the relief. I know that if I started again that I could get away with it without anyone finding out. But then I remember my rock bottom where I freaking cut myself in class without getting caught, and I'm scared that I would return to that point because that was bad. But I'm also scared of not cutting ever again, even though I know that's really stupid. I didn't think this would be so hard after so long. I want to cut so badly and the thought of going through the rest of my life without cutting is scary, but I also don't want to have to start over on Day 0. Everything just feels impossible.
finding-my-haven Join Date: Oct 2014 I am currently:	"No matter how hard it gets, you push through it because you matter. And before you know it, you see the beauty in life and you realize that it is worth living. That you can make it."