I can kind of relate...this isn't quite the same, but if I decide that I'm going to consciously try to recover, then I get anxious about it and that feeling sometimes just makes me want to cut. On the other hand, if I don't think about it, then sometimes I just won't cut for a while without even realizing it.
As for the decrease of bad habits as an excuse for others, yeah I've definitely done that, if only in my mind. I'm the other way around though. I've been cutting less than I usually do lately, so I've been dealing with bad feelings by sometimes starving myself.
I guess I don't really have any advice for you, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.
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