Thank you. I felt so low that I nearly cried at points when I saw my CPN. Everything seems to point to suicide being the solution but my CPN doesn't think so, she acknowledges the torment I go through every day and thinks life would be better for me if it could be reduced. She's going to contact my previous psychologist to see about maybe being re-referred. I need immediate pain relief. I'm hurting and I don't want to feel it any more.
My previous CPN said hi to me when I was in the waiting room and it made me feel quite upset because she, and my current CPN, and so many other people are so good and kind and content and have nice personalities and I think that will never be me. Sometimes I wonder if it is possible to learn the life skills and social skills I struggle with but like I've said before I don't think people will be patient and give me time to learn (mostly the DWP will force me into work) and I can't be patient with myself either. It's this pain, pain, pain. I really need some relief. But what good would my relief be if my brother has none? I wish I could make everything perfect for him, he is the most important person.
|