I'm sorry that things are so difficult. I hear you.
Hannah's suggestion of perhaps using the Headspace or Calm apps is a good one. I'm not at all good at doing mindfulness without guidance and some kind of background noise, as the silence is too much for me. Doing it with the app (I use Headspace, but there are a few good ones out there) makes it easier for me. Do you think you could try something like that? It's not some kind of magic cure, I know, but perhaps it would help take the edge off of the emotional pain sometimes?
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