[Lora]

Well it's about 6 months now since my last SI.
Which is the longest I've been since I started 7 years ago,
So thats great...and I am really proud,
But...but there's always a but.....
I don't know
I still always think about it, always feel like I want, like I need it, like I cant survive without it...like the only thing that keeps me going is that I might cut again.
I know I dont need it, and I know I can survive without it
So why is this so hard?
I'm fine....but Im not
I just feel out of control
I dont know
I dont even know
Ive moved forward, but often I feel like Im moving backwards again

BUt even with that...I havent cut, there was a time when i cut constantly, constantly needed stitches, but I havent cut in 6 months, and it does feel great
Even though its hard sometimes, i can hold onto the fact thats its been 6 months...i cant give up on that can I? Im proud of it and so is everyone else..
So I keep fighting...however hard it is.....Ive got through Hell before, so i can do it again..
Right?