Thank you, Pomegranate.
I do have a lot of things that I've learnt over the years that I can use to help with what's going on at the moment. I'm trying really hard to manage this. I just wish it felt like it was working.
I'm so, so tired. Sleep was a car crash again last night. I felt jittery until really late and then I woke up really early and couldn't get back to sleep again. It's not sustainable. I don't know what to do. Mum said I look exhausted and she's worried the lack of sleep will make me unwell. She said right now she can try and help me, but when I'm really unwell she has to had me over to the professionals. I'm seeing my CC tomorrow morning. Perhaps she'll have some ideas.
A memory popped up on my Facebook today. It's been eight years since I was released from a two month stay in hospital, including time in a HDU after being sectioned in my Mum's house (where I was living at the time) and dragged out of it by the police. That's when I last started the aripiprazole, so I guess if it can get me out of that mess then maybe eventually it'll be OK. They only took me off it because I stopped taking it, ended up detained again and they decided that olanzapine was a better option.
I just need to sleep.
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