Thank you. I feel like I'm almost grieving the loss of my ability to self harm to the extent I want to. That will sound absolutely crazy to many people. I don't know where to go from here, there is only the road back to where I was with overdosing lots but I can't access that road because I can't physically swallow enough tablets. Well, it is possible but my last overdosing experience was even more unpleasant than it usually is because I could hardly swallow the tablets. This is me. I want to destroy myself and it's very hard not being able to without a huge struggle. My body doesn't want to deal with overdoses and self harm but my mind really, desperately wants it. I don't have the motivation to go forward only the wish to go back.
|