I don't know how to be content in life. I think a good life has a lot to do with the people you have in your life but I'm not great socially and get drained easily. I have good relationships with the people involved in my treatment (the ones who treat me with respect and don't judge so much) but it's easier with them because I don't have to hide so much or spend so much time with them. I know I am lucky I have my brother but I worry about him the majority of the time which makes our relationship difficult. A good life also has to do with purpose and I have very little purpose and can't think of anything that I'd really like to do so I'll end up being stuck with a job that makes me stressed and unhappy. All I have done so far is hurt people. I try to tell myself that suicide can't be an option because it could go wrong so instead I should be focusing on ways to make living feel better but I feel so hopeless and don't think I can improve anything.
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