Christmas and New Year are often difficult times for lots of people. Society seems to put a lot of pressure on this time of year being a time of celebration and new beginnings, etc... I think that doesn't help and certainly causes me to feel worse.
You seem really determined to free of IP and 4 years is amazing. Maybe try to focus on the positive side of that rather than the negative - think about what you have achieved and want to achieve rather than what might happen.
You already know it's a hard time of year for yourself so are there things you could do in preparation to help yourself through it? For example, can you work on getting a good sleeping pattern before it becomes all over the place? Maybe you should avoid alcohol over Christmas in case you need to medicate? Get all your coping strategies in place so you're ready to deal with whatever happens.
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