That does sound really scary, I can identify with things not quite gelling with reality and that being really disconcerting. I think your wife is right that you need to try to trust her if your own mind is playing tricks, although I know it's not easy. When people tell me things aren't real/are a little different to how I'm perceiving them I try and think to myself (if it's a person I trust) why on earth would they lie to me? The answer is, they wouldn't. Hope that helps, even a little.
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