I'm sorry you're struggling so much; I follow your RV and it sounds as though it's very frustrating to very much want to be doing things, but to feel too low to do them.
It's difficult, but you need to be easier on yourself. When your mood is low it can be so hard to do anything and what you really need is some praise when you manage the little things, rather than berating yourself for not being able to do more.
Are you on any medication? Perhaps a review of that would be worthwhile at this point.
What about choosing a small and manageable task for each day over the next week? Something that you do want to do, but that isn't overwhelming. Perhaps if you reduce the expectation and pressure on yourself, that might help.
I'm sorry I don't have anything particularly useful to suggest, but I'm sending hugs!
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