Yes, it's very sad. My brother tried to reassure me last night that his upset is normal and that many other people are upset too. He was worried about me because of how I relate to the band and wanted to make sure I was ok. A big part of me wishes he didn't care about me because then it would be easier for me to kill myself.
I saw my psychiatrist today and he's going to increase my Fluoxetine but I don't have any hope that it will help. He said I can have three days in hospital any time I think I need it which is a bit reassuring but my CPN only wants me to go to my local hospital so if I'm struggling again and there are no beds there I will be on my own with the stabbing suicidal pain again.
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