So sorry that your illness is making you want to self harm again. Have you ever tried talking to somebody like a councellor? Or is there any support in your area that can help you not feel so alone. I know that last year when I was really down and out of work I went to a local MIND group and it was just a house with settees, cups of tea, activities and it was nice to just get out and talk to people.
Have you spoken to the doctors about painkillers? Sounds like you are in quite a bit of pain from what you are saying. Just think as soon as the operation is over you will be healing and it will get better from there. Don't cut again, you will regret it so so so much. Xx Hope things get better xX
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