I wouldn't advocate self diagnosis, but I can identify a fair bit with the feeling like there's two parts of you, the bitter unhappy part and the caring, hopeful compassionate part. When I feel like I'm caught in a battle between the two I try to think to myself 'well if I act on the bitter unhappy part, how will I feel about my actions tomorrow?' And likewise if I act on the hopeful, compassionate side, even just with little things, how will I feel tomorrow?' I'm guessing you'll feel better after acting on the 'good' side. Just might help to rationalise a bit when you feel caught between the two.
|