well... you know, march isn't really that long ago so it is totally understandable that this still hurts very much. I can't say how long it'll be this painful for, we're all different people and we cope with death in different ways. What i want to say is that the desire to feel happy again is an important feeling and i hope you can hold on to that. It is also okay to be down in the dumps about it and there isn't really a set time when you should be over it. It can be a long process to grieve for someone you loved. But no matter how long or how short, there is no right or wrong way to go about it. You may feel you should be happier now but maybe it is perfectly okay to still feel immense sadness and maybe you should just allow yourself to be sad.
I know it's easy for me to come here and say that grief takes time. but i've been there. Hell, i AM there myself.
the only real advice i can offer is to talk about it. Talk to people who will listen and keep talking for as long as you need. Talk until you feel sick of talking about it. Not just her death but talk about all the contributing factors to your feeling of emptiness and sadness. Let it out because the worst thing you can do right now is to bottle it all up and retreat into your own world.
and if people have a problem with you then it isn't as much a reflection of who you are as it is a reflection of some petty insecurities they are struggling with. AGain, easy for me to say, i know. But please don't let those people make you feel insecure about yourself and who you are. To a lot of people you are the best you, you could ever be.
i hope you can find some help and company and respite here on these forums. Keep talking. We are listening.
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