I couldn't tell him. He got me a card and some stickers to thank me for "being his rock" and that just broke the thing inside me that was contemplating telling him how I actually feel.
I spent 5 minutes standing in front of the razor blades in Boots the other day. I didn't buy any. I know that I would feel so much better if I cut but I also know that I can't because I have no way to hide it from him. I feel sick with longing and I feel stupid for wanting it so badly.
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