There are so many different symptom combinations you can have with BPD so it can vary wildly between people. Also if you do get diagnosed you're not forced to do DBT! Many areas don't even offer it. I've done it twice and it's honestly worth it but you have to be ready for it.
I think essentially BPD is about having emotion dysregulation. Someone with BPD gets triggered easily into different emotional states that go higher and lower than the average person. It also takes longer to return back to baseline. So during the day it can feel like you're on a rollercoaster of emotions. They happen much faster than someone with bipolar disorder and can lead people to coping in negative ways such as self harming, using risky behaviours, substance abuse, spending too much money etc.
Quite a common feature of BPD is the fear of people leaving you, but also wanting to push people away and that causes internal conflict. It means some people struggle hugely with relationships, but others do not have much or any issues in that area.
BPD usually improves the older you get. Learning to manage and live with it is the best option (which is where talking therapies are very, very good).
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