Hi Rilic,
The medication is important to you. It is frustrating, but by advocating for yourself- the cpn will pass it onto the consultant because only they can make the medication change. I don't know why they said no- the first time- but maybe in following up with the medication you can ask them?
I am not sure that I am following your psychologist either. You are now working with them so it will take time to build a rapport. I don't know if they could have said it differently. But like you said it may be dissociation that triggers memory issues- and not memory issues in terms of having a degenerative condition, or being impacted all the time.
Those two points about the memory problems and the "nice to see you angry"- could you document it and hold it for your next session. Also that talking about your childhood is not something you want to deal with as an after thought in therapy.
I felt that at some point my relationship with my therapist was not working for me. However, in another instance, change was taking place and it was uncomfortable and frustrating- so it wasn't like "I cannot wait to go to therapy"- but in the end I am glad I persisted.
The goal of moving may be one you want to avoid right now, but a plan may need to be put in place to know specifically what skills you will need to move out before you know where or feel ready.
You are amazingly brave. Keep communicating even though it is hard- because you are the expert in how you cope- and they are not mind readers.
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