@Hoperises I think I am just worrying so much and it bothers me I have trust issues and automatically tell people I am ok. I have been seeing that GP a while now and felt able to talk to her and seeing the CPN I feel that I am going to have to open up straight away and that's just not me. I really want to know what the referral said. I close up after talking to someone as feel exposed and not used to it like I need to protect myself. I have had ideations and know people would be better off without me around but don't think I have the strength/courage in order to tell her that. But something tells me she will already know this. As I couldn't even answer the GP when she asked me.
Thanks for your well wishes. I am really trying to keep fighting as much as I feel I am loosing the battle already.
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