Not saying that this is necessarily the same for you, but if you are on meds they could be affecting things. My meds take away my libido and I find the only way I can get interested in sex is to start actually having it, and then about half way through I realize I have started enjoying it. I also have some key fantasies I use to get started (my husband has no idea :). If I waited until I actually wanted to have sex, it would never happen.
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