[bitomato]

So I had to go on generic medication because I did not have enough money for the brand. Even my psychiatrist did not want me taking the generic as I am in a completely new setting....

Initially it wasn't so bad- the anxiety levels, feelings of being overwhelmed and other things seemed explainable by my bad habits and previous coping methods.

However, I have been completely been triggered and unable to return to normal, and I am catastrophising big time about not getting a new health care provider, running out of meds, being "found out" by my new landlord (because I have a mental illness I am afraid they will kick me out), and keep thinking that my family want me to fail and return home where I'll have no job, no place to live, no hope......

I thought moving on campus would make things better, but now I feel like I am a failure. Even when I do well.....I cannot feel achievement.

I know part of it is that I am depressed- the generic isn't working like the brand....I should not be this low. I am not motivated to exercise......and my chronic pain flare ups are out of hand. I have days off where I kind of have to ride out the brain fog but it is even becoming spring and I cannot leave the house.....

I am scared.....