Do you think you could try different churches? Not every church will judge you in the same way.
I go to church every Sunday and I am certainly not perfect. My church encouraged me to see the doctor when things were difficult. "Work as if everything relies on you, pray as if everything relies on God." That's the way my church works. I believe that's the way things work.
The congregation of the church I go to is very diverse. We have a lot of people who are in recovery from addiction. My vicar has baptised murderers and offenders of every kind. They are accepted. They are not expected to be perfect.
I would really encourage you to find a church that embraces people the way Jesus did. No judgement. Just love and acceptance.
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