I'm finally back home. I'm still struggling. I'm confused and struggling to understand things. There's so many things in my head. Too many thought. I'm confused and broken.
My mum is very upset, her aunt got diagnosed with cancer in 3 places Christmas Eve and her cousin (who was terminally ill) died Boxing Day. She called a few hours ago to say X's wife has also just been diagnosed with cancer. It's all my fault. I don't know how to feel. I'm just detached but I feel guilty I should feel things. But right now I need to be numb. At least until adter new year. How am I supposed to feel?
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