Thank you both for your lovely replies, I really appreciate the support.
I was supposed to have therapy today, but it was cancelled, which is fine, but next Monday is now the last time I'll see her before I go home and we haven't had a chance to talk about going home. I know she can't do much but she really helps me rationalise everything and I just wanted someone who could listen to everything in my head. We still have next week. But I'm panicking 1 hour won't be enough. I know this is very selfish and I shouldn't be so dependent. Sorry.
I literally don't know how to cope. How do people deal with being home? Or during triggering times of year? I don't know why all my coping strategies have suddenly disappeared. I'm so overwhelmed.
I want to go to the place where I've often nearly attempted suicide and is my go to place. Which scares me. Today I stood at the side of the road for what felt like forever debating whether to not to step into the road. I obviously didn't and I don't think I will. But I'm struggling. Sorry this is so long and rambly.
I am actually fine sorry.
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